This means you can expect me to enter the fray with you as an active and engaged participant, and to adjust to your pace and needs.

You can expect attention, compassion, kindness, and empathetic curiosity.

I will be honest, direct, and offer feedback that may challenge you, with the goal of guiding you to the truth of your own heart.  

The therapeutic relationship is the most important tool I have towards learning about you and connecting with who you are. 

Relational therapy will notice and explore what is occurring in the therapeutic relationship towards understanding the greater context of your life and your internal world.  This may be uncomfortable and disruptive at times, but hopefully transformational and life-giving.

This is a fancy way of saying that therapy is depth oriented.  We will focus on the psychological and emotional roots of the issues, not just symptom management.  

I will be curious with you about your early life experiences to the degree they continue to shape and inform how you experience yourself and others in the present.  

A psychodynamic approach seeks to engage the strategies one uses to mitigate pain and suffering and integrate them with kindness and generosity.  The boundaries, safety, and trust developed in the therapeutic relationship facilitate the freedom to "reveal" both conscious and unconscious conflicts, motivations, and desires.

The development of deeper and compassionate understanding in the context of relationship is vital for empowerment, increased responsibility taking, and a greater capacity to love boldly and well.

Trauma is a relational issue that influences and shapes how we relate both individually and collectively.  In therapy, behaviors are viewed as forms of communication and adaptive responses to painful and overwhelming experiences, many of which have never been spoken or felt.

Therapy will thoughtfully and carefully tend to the obvious and subtle ways trauma may be present and continues to impact your behavior, capacity for connection, emotional regulation, and beliefs about self and others.   

More than simply reprocessing memories, therapy will prioritize safety and attunement, and we will work at a pace that honors your capacity to tolerate distress.

The stories of your life hold meaning and clues about who you are and believe yourself to be.  

Part of the work together may be exploring your narratives in greater depth, how they serve you well, and how they may hinder vitality and joy.  

Safety, security, and being known are essential to developing the skills and tools needed for communication, connection, and intimacy in partnerships and marriage.

More than teaching skills and behaviors, we will focus on what sustains change and connection long term, such as:

• increasing emotional awareness of yourself and your partner

• building greater capacity for vulnerability to increase connection and understanding

• sustained listening, curiosity, and empathy

• responsibility taking and repairing conflict

We will also examine the pain, grief, and relational suffering that exists under the surface of the presenting issues and conflicts, and learn vulnerable, honest ways of saying what is really true.  

Similar to individual work, couples therapy may focus on ways the past -- including trauma, neglect, and abuse -- continues to influence and shape your present patterns of relating with your partner.  

If desired, we can also incorporate spirituality and faith into our work together, as this is often a foundational influence in how you relate as a couple.